This is it!! chapter 23

My love has finally returned and he has accepted me.  I can't tell you how happy this makes me knowing that he has loved me all along.  We are finally getting married.  This puts so much joy in me.  Although it makes me sad that on our wedding day he seems agitated by something I know that he cares about me truly.  I have been waiting for this moment for all of my life.  No longer will I have just questions but I will also have answers, answers that are like music to my ears.  Today is the day that I know I will be happy forever.  No matter what happens through our time I know Victor loves and cares for me. Just having him hold me for the rest of my life would be satisfying.  Well I must go, I just heard a strange noise coming from the closet.  I'm going to go observe! Goodnight and sweet dreams.

chapter 22 still nothing

He still isn't here.  I know I told him to take his time but it has been a long time, too long.  I really need him in my life.  I want him more than I want the air I breathe.  Something tells me its going to be a long time before he comes back.  Where are you Victor? What have you done with my heart? Everything pain that I have felt in my life I know realize will never match up to the pain I feel right now.  So what shall I do until my man returns?  Shall I weep? Shall I dance? Shall I mourn? no no no..... I shall wait some more until the day comes that I will meet you again my dear Victor.

My decision Chapter 20

I have decided that after my last entry I really do need to take preparation for a new life just in case Victor has found a new love.  If he shows me love thats all that I will need in order for me to stay.  If he shows me sadness and guilt I will leave this life and never come back.  I sent him a letter telling him of these occasions and I really hope that he takes note of them and cherishes the decisions that I have made.  I hope the letter gets to him soon if not then I will just have to sit here and wait like I have been doing for as long as I can remember.

This hole inside my heart (Chapter 19)

I can't stand this! He's been gone so long. Everything I do is so done with anger and sadness. There is nothing that makes me happy anymore. I need to see him. What am I supposed to do if I don't have him. What if he comes back and doesn't want me anymore? What will I do? He is all that I have in this world. No I mustn't think that way.  I have to be positive.  If I'm going to make it through this I'm going to have to be a positive person.  There's nothing else to it.  And if he doesn't want me then I will just have to accept it and make a new life for myself.  Hopefully, all goes well and I wont have to make a new life but I think I should prepare for one just in case.

Is it really him? Chapter 18

    Well he finally came back.  It has been a long time.  However, we did not converse.  He has something that he has to do in Strasburgh.  I don't get it, we're supposed to be getting married. MARRIED!!!  All he can think about is his stupid studies? Seriously? Why can't he just marry me and take me with him? There are still so many questions I want to ask him.  Will I ever get the chance to talk to him though? Victor is my only love but he can't keep on like this.  I must know what is going on in that head of his.  If only I could here his voice just once.  JUST ONCE! I need him, I need him to comfort me and talk to me.  I can't keep the way I feel about William and Justine bottled up.  Please Victor come back.

No one to turn to :( Chapter 15

    What am I supposed to do if I have no one to help me out with my problems.  I have always been a nice person. I haven't ever done anything remotely mean to anyone I don't see why I deserve this sort of treatment. I feel secluded from the world.  I have no happiness with anything at all, nothing can put a smile on my face.  Nothing except for Victor maybe if he ever comes back to me and wants to be with me. What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore? What will I do then? Who will I have then?
    I feel like the world is a horrible place and it can't be cured of its horrible doings.  But is it really the worlds fault or is it ours? Light is nowhere and war is everywhere.

Something Fishy Chapter 14

  Its been too long.  There is something very fishy going on.  I know that he has just found out about William and Justine but we all have to deal with it.  Victor is up to something and I truly wish that he would tell me.  I don't get why he can't tell me, I'm his best friend, he should be able to tell me anything no matter what it is.  I have always told him everything no matter how bad it is.  I don't understand why he can't trust me.  I  feel like I'm one step away from the door.  But I can't abandon him no matter what he does. I know the real Victor is out there somewhere, its just going to take some time to find him.  Hopefully he will come back to life soon! Where is the man that I once loved? Where is the man that once loved me?
    I think about William constantly nothing gets him off my mind well except for Victor and the subject of Victor is not very nice.  For some reason I feel like things are just going to get worse.  I don't know how things can get worse but I just have that gut feeling you know?

    

Where is he? Chapters 13

    When will he ever return? I can't stand not having him around.  He is putting me through so much pain right now.  I love him so much that I can't leave him.  But what he's putting me through is making me want to leave him beause this is pure torture.  I'm pretty sure there is no women in the world that would stay with him after all of this.  But I love him too much to leave him.  We have been with each other since we were children, we can't give up on each other know.  I have to stay with him.  I know that he loves me he is just going through a rough spot in life. 
    I really miss Victor.  He is the only one that I have left that will keep me sane.  His father isn't with it anymore and I'm all alone.  Victor has to come back, he has to. If he doesn't come back who will I have left?

Mourning... Chapters 10 -12

    Days have become longer for me.  I don't know what to do with myself. I am full of remorse and guilt.  Nothing makes my day happy. Victor is never here.  I feel like I am always alone and like I have no one to turn to.  What am I supposed to do? Father is just as bad as me if not worse.  I wish Victor were here to comfort me but he's not he's never here and I have a feeling that he's never going to be here.  Is there anything in my life right now that's good? Please feel free to answer my question here because I'm out of answers.

When will the pain end? Chapter 7-9

  What am I supposed to do now? William is gone and never to return. He is murdered.  Its all my fault. I did this.  I should have told him to stay inside or something of that matter. No matter how much I cry or how much I think about him he's never coming back.  If mother were here Victor would be here and so would William but she isn't and since she had to take care of me she is dead.
   Everything that has been bad in this family has always been my fault.  I am the cause of it all.  I don't belong here.  I bet this would be a happy family without me and mother would still be alive, Victor would be here, and William would still be alive. Oh the HORROR of it all!! What will I do without my little William??
    Victor returned after receiving my father's letter.  The murder suspect is Justine but everyone in the family knows that she would never kill William. But everyone in town suspects her because she had the locket of mothers that William was supposed to have.  On the trial day I watched as every tormented her and acted as if she were a monster.  I knew that she could never do anything to harm another human being.  So I went on the witness stand to try and rest my case.
    I told everyone that Justine was practically a member of the family. She was with William all of the time, playing and taken care of him. I also said that never once was she mean or rude to the family or William in particular, Justine was the most caring person that I knew.
    However, Justine could not take anymore of the torture and decided to "confess".  She didn't really kill him she just couldn't take this anymore and decided death was easier.  Justine was to be hanged.  I can't think of anymore worse things that could happen.  William's killer was still out there and Justine was having to take the blame for it.  How cruel man could be.
    Justine died.  I don't know if I can take anymore of this.  I really hope that there's no more bad fortune in store for this family.  Nothing seemed to have a light in it anymore. Everything has just gone dark and cruel.

waiting for him... Chapters 4-6

    Well, Victor has went off to Ingolstadt and I am all alone with the family. I hope that he writes back soon.
    Victor hasn't wrote to me nor father in six years.  I have tried to write to him but he will never write back.  I wonder what is making him not want to write atleast one word to his family?
    Well, I have decided to write a letter to Victor.  Henry tries to tell me that he's alright but it does not soothe me I need to know from him that he is okay.  The letter is pretty much a main idea of whats been going on for the past SIX YEARS!!!! I really miss that guy! I wonder if he will ever write back...
    He wrote back... but it was only two sentences.  Does he not care that people care about him? Sometimes he makes me so mad. But I love him to death and I don't think I would be able to survive if I lost him but not seeing him for six years kind of feels like losing him if I really think about it.

New beginnings Chapters 1-3

    I'm glad that Caroline has decided to take me in.  I couldn't take that horrible place any longer.  Caroline really cares for me and she has such a beautiful family.  Her husband is very nice and her oldest son Victor is very handsome! We spend every waking moment together.  I love the land that surrounds me, I could explore it for months and never get tired.  Victor is really trying to study nature.  Well, whatever he wants to do is fine with me! I just hope that he doesn't get caught up in his studies.
    I have the scarlet fever.  Can you believe it? I feel really bad that mother has to watch me all of the time and put her health in danger.  And Victor had to put off Ingolstadt which is really sad.  I feel bad for putting all of these horrible things on my dear family.
    Even though my fever has went away mother has gotten it.  Which makes me feel ever worse.  I watch her every waking moment.  She looks like she is in a lot of pain.  Just before she was about to pass she made me and Victor join hands.  She wanted Victor and I to be married one day and also she wished us a happy life and said goodbye.